We’re back! And to be honest, I didn’t think I would ever return to the blog. But motherhood and postpartum are wild like that. Surviving, thriving, or maybe a little of both, you’re in this bubble where your head and heart can only hold so many things, so you end up saying goodbye to parts of yourself and the things you made time for before. But then one day, your mind clears, your heart settles, and you find yourself all over again.
And that brings me here. Back to myself. Back to writing. Back to you.
WHERE MAMA-ISH IS HEADED:
I started this blog after I quit my teaching job because something kept calling me to reflect on this transformation that I knew so many Mamas were navigating. Along the way, it became a journal and reflective outlet for me. I grew to love the silence of me writing, the solitude with my thoughts and my coffee, and the resonation and power of the words on the page. Mama-ish became a small little community.
Where I fell off, and why I didn’t return for awhile, was all of the extra fluff that I thought needed to come with having a blog. I talk more about this in the story highlights on my new Instagram, @byerikajames, if you’re curious, but I just didn’t want to prioritize “keeping up” after Poet was born.
But this time, I’m doing it authentically my way, and that means Mama-ish may look a little different.
My intention is that posts will happen organically and inspired, when something is on my heart and on my mind, rather than under this unnecessary to pressure to post every week. It also might mean that you won’t like or agree with some of the viewpoints or perspectives.
I would like Mama-ish to be a platform of many voices, and not one that questions us or makes us feel like we need to be doing something more or something different. It should be a space that celebrates us, brings us together, and even challenges us to reflect.
And if you’re anything like me, I don’t choose Mama friends who are exactly like me. I appreciate feeling seen or understood, but at the core of a village is women, and men, who embrace us and hold space for us as we make sense of this frieken wild journey called Motherhood.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT US:
Before I start sharing on the blog, I want to give a quick life update, so you all know where my content is coming from and the context of my life lately.
I am a Mama of three girls, Alba Rain (8), River Lane (6), and Poet Love (1). My husband is Garrett James. We’ve been together for 21 years. I won’t go into that here, but here’s a love story post. We have a dog, who is actually just our first born and only son, Romo (12). We also have 9 chickens and 2 bearded dragons.
Garrett and I joke (and cry) that our girls are like dragons because they’re full of fire and wild. It’s exhausting, it’s dramatic, but it’s also really promising.
I feel like there’s two perspectives we can take when our kids are strong-willed and intense. They’re unruly, or they’re full of spirit. I have to believe that our perception is powerful in keeping that little fire burning. As a family, we try to remind each other, “Don’t be a spirit popper.”
Garrett owns three businesses, Ironmen Basketball, Ryoko Rain, and Bucketsquad. He does everything that’s worth doing with his whole heart, which is why he is somehow able to balance it all. I am a retired middle school Language Arts teacher who now holds down the home for the James Family.
I have chickens and a sourdough starter…so you know how that goes.
When Alba was born, I struggled with FOMO, some postpartum depression, and genuinely didn’t know who I was anymore. I would have never claimed to be the Mama who enjoyed pregnancy, newborns, or breastfeeding. It all felt so out-of-body to me.
If you were to ask me now, after my third daughter, I’m that annoying Mama who felt strong and beautiful while pregnant, wishes I could birth again (naturally and in my home), misses breastfeeding, and just wants to frolick barefoot in the forest with my family. Although it’s wild and funny because I never thought I’d be that Mama, I know how I got here, and it was perspective. So, if you’re in the weeds or just staying afloat, keep going. I truly believe, no matter your experience, it’s unique to you and your space in the universe, and in your time, you will find yourself.
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ME:
Here is a quick gist of the Mama I am today and what will inevitably influence future posts:
-I am probably 80% crunchy…no dyes, no seed oils, no fragrance, no junk. I am not perfect, but I’m growing more extreme by the day, and it’s a pretty big passion of mine. I can’t even promise this will help us live longer or healthier, but it’s something that speaks to me, so I do it.
The other 20% is a Mama who claims balance.
-When it comes to philosophies on raising children, I am extreme on parenting the unique child. There is no one answer fits all.
-I am accepting of the technological world we live in. I am also determined to hold space for my kids against it. Our ipads are sitting in my girls’ room, uncharged and untouched because we only use them for travel. They do still watch TV! I grew up on Lizzie McGuire, Full House, and Boy Meets World.
Those shows shaped me in so many beneficial ways, so I’m all for a positive screen influence. But my eye twitches when my kids want to watch ASMR or weird challenges on Youtube…so Youtube is only on weekends (and oh my, I monitor it because there’s been some whacky stuff that comes up.)
-Boredom is powerful. I love to watch our girls in their imaginations or when they’re creating together. I stand back as much as I can because I just want to hold that space. I don’t instruct their play or get involved, but I do love sparking an idea that they take off with or just laying out some props.
Next thing I know, they’ve created an entire palace.
-I joined a book club! I’ll share what I’m reading for all of my fellow book worms.
-When I feel frustrated or discouraged with behavior or discipline, I remember that our children are not ours to keep.
They are individual souls that we get to guide, nurture, and give wings.
-Garrett loves to keep us involved in all the sports and things, and I love that too, but I also feel this need to ground our family in solitude, so I’m always encouraging moments to slow down. We balance each other well in that way.
-One thing that connected me back to myself as a Mama was prioritizing my exercise. I do mat and dumbbell workouts in my living room about 5x a week, even when I don’t feel like it, because the self love frees me to be patient and selfless for the rest of the day.
In motherhood, I found a version of myself that makes me feel the closest to my spirit that I ever have been.
Getting here wasn’t easy, and I probably won’t stay here long. We are always evolving.
“I hope when you come home to yourself, there are flowers lining the front porch that were left from all the women you were before.”
Mama-ish is my flower, to you, in whatever version you find yourself in. You are right where you need to be. Slow down, and be with her.
XOXO, Erika James
