Third Trimester: My Mindset, My Symptoms, and My Tea

Ya’ll… I am almost 36 weeks.

River was born in the 38th week, so I feel like the countdown is on. We took our last trip in the books, which was Big Bear last weekend,
and now we’re just nesting and waiting.

I’ve said this before, but I have truly have had an easy pregnancy this time. I didn’t have any morning sickness, no changes in appetite, no swelling, and some other wins, but I also know my perspective this time around has been a huge positive influence.

And the mind is so powerful.

Of course I could complain about the weight gain, the uncomfortability of a huge belly, the constant need to pee, and more. But I’m choosing, instead, to embrace it all, knowing this gift I’ve been given. And it doesn’t even feel like a choice, it’s just a mindset and space I’ve curated over time. It took some life changes to arrive here, but it has made all the difference.

If you heard me talk about pregnancy and birth now versus how I talked about it with my first, I would sound like two different women.
There’s so many highs and lows that women can feel throughout pregnancy, but we do have the power to make it a beautiful process.
And we have the power to change the narrative for other women as well. These days, I’m so spiritually connected to my pregnancy journey that I’m on the verge of tears any time I listen to a birth story on a podcast. And yes, I love a good birth story! When we put ink to paper or record our voice, we are offering our fears, laughter, failures, empathy, confidence, our experience. And that story is so powerful. As much as I think it’s important to be honest and realistic about the challenges and changes we endure in pregnancy and birth, I also think we have the capability to empower young girls, women, and even males to see birth as something we get to do,
rather than something we have to do in order to build our family. Perspective is everything.

THIRD TRIMESTER SYMPTOMS

Peeing: The pee urge has turned painful in the last couple of weeks. Poet is moving SO MUCH, and when her movement puts pressure on my bladder, it physically hurts. I’m much more intentional about using the restroom before I leave or when I can and when I’m drinking coffee or water.

Armpit Lumps: If you read “My Second Trimester,” you can learn a little more about these lumps, but they’ve remained the same. I’m sure they’ll get painful and super irritating once my milk comes in, but for now, they’re just inconvenient because I find myself avoiding tank tops or wearing anything where they’ll show. Lucky for me, it’s winter and cold. And actually, I just remembered, this is the weirdest thing! When I was breastfeeding or pumping in the past, one of the pores in my armpit actually leaked milk. It was almost like a sweat drop, but it was literally milk coming from the lump of breast tissue in my armpit. Did this happen to anyone else? Ugh.

Kicks: Poet’s movements have become bigger and happen more often. There’s been a couple days where I feel like she’s moving from morning until I go to sleep at night. And now, I can see my stomach physically moving underneath my clothes. Sometimes, she gets in an awkward position, and I can see and feel my stomach lopsided, or my stomach skin will get really tight and hard.

Sharp Pains: This one is a challenge to explain accurately, but basically, every so often, I get a sharp pain. To be blunt, it feels like a baby knife stabbing my vagina. I think it has something to do with Poet’s movements, but it’s such a fast, there-and-gone pain.

Leg Cramps: My calves randomly cramp in the middle of the night while I’m sleeping. There’s lots of reasons this happens in late pregnancy, but phew they hurt.

Nesting: If I could tell you how many drawers I’ve organized, how many toys I’ve donated and rearranged, how many baby products I’ve purchased and set up…I mean, we are nesting in full effect. It took me awhile to get motivated to start because the holidays overwhelmed my energy and focus, but once January hit, I was ready. When I was pregnant with Alba, I did and bought a lot because she was our first baby. Then, with River, she sort of got the leftovers and a version of me that was experienced and tired. Now, with Poet, we’re starting over years later with the baby phase, and it feels new and exciting, so I’m preparing all the things. It’s a mix of excitement and fear. The fear is that I know what I’m getting into with a newborn. I know the shift my life is going to take, and I just want to feel ready for it. I want my home to be a space that brings calm, rather than anxiety. So, I’ve really been at work trying to simplify and condense the clutter and create spaces that give me that good energy.


QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Are you ready?
I wasn’t sure if this question was asking if I’m emotionally ready or if the house and baby products are ready to go. But emotionally, I’m so ready that I’m anxious. I told Garrett the other day that I feel like I’m waiting to meet our daughter. I know her, but I need to meet her. And I’m just anticipating that moment.

What is your diet like?
An average day of eating looks a lot like it did in my second trimester in terms of the meals, but I’ve definitely been indulging more often.
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs OR a peanut butter toast on wheat bread
I follow this up with a couple scoops of Cookie Butter (If you haven’t tried this, go to Trader Joe’s now!)
Lunch: This is where I stay pretty healthy. I’ll usually make a salad at home.
Afternoon Snack: Smoothie or Protein Bar
Dinner: It varies, but I’ve been less concerned about the carbs and just going for it.
Late Night Snack: I’ve been all about my granola cereal with almond milk
Every day is different, and while I’m still managing a heathy balance, I’m definitely giving in to more of what I want in this last trimester.
Desserts are my weakness!

What is your nursing plan?
My plan is to not have a plan. I do have a goal, and it’s to be better at breastfeeding than I was and to go in with a perspective of gratitude, rather than one of a burden. But otherwise, I’m going to see how Poet does, how I do, and just do my best, whatever that looks like.

Will you get pregnant again?
No, this is it for us! Once Poet is born, I’ll be bugging Garrett to get snipped.

What is your weight gain?
I’ve gained about 23 pounds so far. With Alba, I gained a total of 37. With River, I gained 25. Prior to this pregnancy, I had gotten really into health and fitness, and I’ll be honest, the idea of gaining weight and changing my body was scary. I told myself I would try to only gain 20 pounds this time, but I started to see that even with exercise and healthy eating, my body still wanted to take on the extra weight for baby girl. I surrendered, knowing this is temporary and a transition my body needs. I think, in general, Mamas-to-be can get too critical of their growing bodies. Because in reality, everybody else who sees their belly thinks it’s super cute. But we’re our harshest critics when we’re literally bringing life into this world. I wish that every Mama-to-be could see themselves and their bodies as the feminine magic that they are, but I also know that takes a lot of unlearning of what society has taught us.

How has the name process been?
In a previous post, “A Letter to my Unborn Daughter,” I explain how we were initially going to name her Ember. Poet snuck up on me, and it just felt right. We’ve known for awhile that we would name her Poet, but the Language Arts teacher in me can’t just choose a name because I like it how it sounds, it has to have meaning for me. And Poet is such a strong first name that it can sound awkward or too much when I pair it with other names. We want to give her two middle names, one English and one Japanese. And I think we might have figured it out. Funny enough, Garrett chose both of Poet’s middle names, and he didn’t choose any of the names of our first two daughters.

What are you most excited about being able to do once you are no longer pregnant?
Lay on my stomach.
Champagne.
Sushi.
Botox.
Cute pants.
To name a few…!

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If you’ve been here from the beginning, I spent the first two trimesters eating very healthy, working out five days a week, and determined to maintain my lifestyle. I was still showing up to everything I could, running around with kids and errands all day, and essentially living like I wasn’t even pregnant. With this third trimester, I’ve made allowances for myself and really given myself grace in slowing down and giving in. And I’m not mad about it.

For example, when I wanted a crumb glaze donut the other morning, I ate the donut. And the Hudson’s Cookies. And the Mexican Chocolate Pie from Pie Hole. Zero guilt. There’s been a couple times where I was exhausted at 3:00 in the afternoon, and I let myself fall asleep on the couch. I’ve been working out closer to four times a week, and some days are just a pilates flow. I’m listening to my body, and she’s been more tired lately.

I’m actually grateful that I’m in a place where I’m giving myself this space. My mind knows we’re counting down, and I keep reminding myself, You only have a few weeks left to do these things. Go easy on yourself. Indulge. It’s okay.

I hope I can remember this mindset postpartum…

Postpartum is tough, and we Mamas can put so much pressure on ourselves to get back to who we were, but I’ve learned we are not the same, and we can’t go back. But this isn’t a loss, as I thought when I was a young Mama of one. This is an evolution. Sarah Wright Olsen said, “Don’t be in a hurry to pull up your jeans or to stay up late. Don’t try to show everyone that you are the same girl just with a baby now. You are going to grow. Your world is going to shift. And you can get comfortable with the flow. There is so much beauty and growth in the unknown. You will love who is waiting on the other side.”

And the biggest lesson that motherhood has taught me and the inspiration behind Mama-ish is this…you have to allow yourself to love this new identity. If you are so busy chasing who you were before, you’re going to feel a disconnect towards this new version of yourself, and maybe even animosity. You are Mama now, and that comes with new scars and fears that you might not recognize, but it also comes with unwavering strength. There is no going back. Sit with her. Learn about her. Embrace her. Love her.

Please comment and share any wisdom, experiences, and thoughts you are willing to share.
Thank you for being here with me. Whether it’s your first read or you’ve been here from the beginning, she’s almost here!
And having you in my village has made me stronger.
XOXO