Full-Time Teacher to Full-Time Mama

Teacher Dreams
Romeo and Juliet, Of Mice and Men, The Catcher in The Rye, The Diary of Anne Frank, The Great Gatsby … there were entire worlds, outside of my own, that I could be a part of. I could be immersed in a life between pages, only to learn that these characters, these people, even across space and time, were much more like me than they were different.

It was in middle school that I realized I wanted to be a Language Arts teacher. I had two Language Arts teachers who made their classes matter so far beyond that physical room. They read stories out loud and encouraged us to make everything we read a personal experience. I found myself in these stories. And I fell in love with this idea that stories are universal, and there’s power in sharing them.
I remember learning that reading is like breathing in, and writing is like breathing out.
That’s what it felt like to me, and I knew I wanted to give that back.

My first teaching job was at a middle school in Moreno Valley. I taught there for three years, and looking back, it was a survival phase where I became a sponge and tried to absorb anything and everything I could from veteran teachers.

My second teaching job was at a middle school in Placentia, and it was there that I learned to love my career. As challenging as it is to be a teacher, we go into this profession for the hearts and minds of the kids. I never claimed to be the best, most experienced, or most creative Language Arts teacher, but I can, without a doubt, say I showed up for my kids with everything I had, every single day. And my priorities were always their social-emotional well-being and re-instilling a love for reading and writing. It killed me inside when students grew to hate reading because they were forced to summarize every chapter, or when they were overwhelmed by writing because it was never offered as a creative, free space. And I took pride in being the teacher that validated their feelings, identified and encouraged their strengths, and made sure they were seen. I found my passion in opening those doors, or at the very least, making sure they weren’t closed.

The decision to step away from teaching wasn’t an easy one, but it also wasn’t as difficult as you might expect. It was time.
I felt it in my bones. Every aspect of our lives lined up with this decision to step away, and while it was scary and a risk, it felt right.

Why I Left Teaching
– Garrett’s companies were doing really well
– His job was more flexible than mine, so he would be the one to rearrange his day when unexpected situations came up with the girls,
but those setbacks were huge for him.
– Our Mamas had been babysitting for 5 years, and they had new grand babies now from our siblings.
– Our Mamas were busy with their jobs.
– We were considering having a 3rd babe.
– I knew I would not have a 3rd babe while still working; I already had so many days where I could barely stay afloat.
– The girls were growing before our eyes, and we felt like time was slipping away. If we had the privilege to let me be home with them before they were in school full-time, we needed to take advantage of it.
– I could always go back.

Mama
If you follow me on social media, you might feel like I’m glamorizing pregnancy and being a full-time Mama. While I make an effort to be real about the hardships, this phase of my life is truly full of so much gratitude. But it took me time to get here.
Up until the past year, I wanted to work! I needed that space to be on my own, and my career was rewarding.
I didn’t enjoy my previous pregnancies. I didn’t enjoy breastfeeding. It was all so overwhelming. For the past six years, it was like Tetris just trying to schedule a doctor or nail appointment into my schedule. I was working full-time, and then it was straight to Mama-mode.

River is now four years old. I’m at war with time, and leaving teaching and being at home has really slowed down life.
So this new season of my life feels extra sweet. And I’m cherishing it.

My girls are a bit older, and our time together feels rich and playful (when they aren’t pulling each other’s hair out or driving me mad).
It’s different than the time we spent together changing diapers and feeding on demand. And they’re both in school, part-time,
so I get those windows of time to re-energize and show myself some love. I also know this is such a temporary sweet spot because Poet will be here in a few months time already.

It took me some time, after leaving teaching, to figure out what I would be doing for me amidst the chaos of Mama life.
You are allowed to have time that is just for you. I considered several options, and I even dove into a couple, only to pull back. And now, here I am, writing. Writing doesn’t leave me. It seems to be something I always come back to, even when my priorities in life change.

“A day will come when the story inside you will want to breathe on its own. That’s when you’ll start writing.”
-Sarah Noffke
My story and experience is my own. But if I can share anything that resonates, it’s this…
whether or not you have children, our priorities and interests change as we grow. We have seasons of life where everything is certain, and we feel content and confident in our space. But we also have seasons where we question everything, what we’re meant to be doing, and what’s our next step. Never, ever, did I believe that at the age of 32, I would step away from a career that I dreamed about.
(I still believe I’ll return someday, when my priorities and circumstances have evolved.)

If you’re questioning where you are, it’s not too late. It’s never too late to start over or try something new. Find a balance and acceptance in the uncertainty of life. Ride the waves, and let time take its course because eventually, the path will be clear. But in the meantime, take action where you can. Take steps that will clear that path for you. We can’t sit back and expect life to drop decisions in our lap. Reflect. Communicate with yourself and those in your life. Explore. Try new things. Listen to your gut. You’ll know when it’s right. It will feel scary. You’ll hesitate and question yourself. But your gut will know.

What’s right for you isn’t right for the next person. And what’s right you in one season, may not be in the next. Stay intuitive.
And no matter what you choose or what you’re forced to choose, you are a superhero in those babes’ eyes.

What are your challenges and wins when it’s comes to being a working parent or a stay-at-home parent?